Boquets

 Week three of my fall semester started today. It has been a practice in consistency for me. Building new routines has been helpful.

This semester I am sitting at 12 credits, as I am on academic probation. This isn't from not being able to perform well academically in the past. The academic probation is reflective of my past grades at this institution though. My first semester I was in the hospital not quite a month because i caught COVID. I was really sick and nearly died. However, I did finish a one credit class and took home a B. My grade was reflective of my absences.

The next semester I found a lump in my left breast and had to walk away from all but one of my courses. Despite my absences I took home an A in that course. The instructor and I had great communication and I came in the last day, very ill and gave my presentation. The other classes I took fails as I did with the first semester classes.

This semester I feel more confident at this time. Before the semester started I felt like I was walking into failure.  That is not how I want to feel. Life has thrown me so many half alive bouquets. Over and over again I do my best to separate the dead flowers from the living ones. 

The school as so many supports set in place for students to succeed. I am utilizing every support that I can think of. Meetings with academic advisors,  my mentor, my tutor and outside mental health support is important. Also, keeping regular communication with my friends. While most of them do not live local to me, I still keep it up. They are  a big cheer team for me. The most important support are my children. They love to gas their mom up and I love to do the same for them.

I am not sure how people view me. Here I am at 47 years old trying this college thing again. So many starts and stops...and repeat. Here I am though, moving towards goals I never could of imagined during certain moments in my life. Really though, going on this journey with my art is all thanks to a counselor I had at the VetCenter when I was in California, and my ex-husband funding a printmaking course for me after we had separated. 

Let's see where this journey takes not just me, but my family. This isn't just for me....it's for them.